Awry
by Gater101
Summary: OneShot. John Sheppard has a death wish.


Title: Awry  
Summary: John Sheppard has a death wish.  
Characters: John, Teyla, Ronon, Rodney, Carter, Conlin, Kanan  
Pairing: John/Teyla, Teyla/Kanan  
Rating: K

John Sheppard had a death wish.

Or at least that's what he was calling this momentary lapse in judgement. He hadn't started his day with a death wish, of this he was sure but as so often happened in his six years in Atlantis, his best laid plans oft' went awry.

It had started out simple enough with a quiet stroll through a friendly village on a friendly planet with his team for the last time. He'd been content – hell, maybe even excited – with the fact that even Teyla had come out for this, his last mission on Atlantis. Even Rodney had seemed pleased to be embarking on their mundane, diplomatic – if it could even be called that – mission. He'd been fine when the local alien men had started to take notice of the still somewhat new Conlin; she was military, and John knew that the drunken kiss she'd planted on him at the celebration night a few months back had been erased from her memory by the sheer level of alcohol she'd consumed and he wasn't really in the mood to remind her of it. He'd also been fine – if somewhat a little grossed out – when really, really hot alien females starting making advances on his two male companions.

What had irked him - though was not the reason for his death wish - was the distinct level of inattention he was receiving. He'd joked with Teyla about it – he didn't see the point in ruining his last mission because of her misconstrued idea that he'd done something wrong – and she'd replied that she wasn't receiving particular attention either. Although she didn't seem as bothered by it as he was.

He'd even been death wish free when he'd plopped down at the dinner table and was faced with two of the most disconcerting things he'd ever seen in his life. One was Rodney. The other, Ronon. He'd never seen either of them – well, except that one time with Rodney – flirt. And he didn't like it. The food was even better than it had looked and he'd been readily accepting of the offer of seconds.

It wasn't even when a rather large, rather attractive man approached Teyla and attempting to 'gain her affection' that his death wish arrived. No. This he could handle; he'd seen it many times and he'd seen the many times she'd brushed their advances off, telling them of her marriage to another man. This time was no different and Colossus – as John had taken to calling him – had shed a lingering stare in John's direction before sauntering off to another table and – no doubt – another hapless female.

It could have been when said hapless female had approached Teyla and demanded a fight to the death for the affections of Colossus but it wasn't. Even still, it wasn't when Teyla had repeatedly turned down the offer – at which John had smiled thankfully – and tried to usher the woman away – he was also thankful Teyla was not above some subtle threats about how effectively she could kick aforementioned Hapless Female's ass.

His plans probably started to go awry when Hapless Female called Teyla a coward. It was when Teyla's pride hadn't been able to stand it anymore and she'd stood angrily, agreeing to take part in a winning of the affections of Colossus' in death match ass kicking festival that John had sensed a downturn on his good day. Hid death wish didn't even come in to play as he tried to talk her out of her idiotic actions – he wasn't above telling her pride how stupid its' actions were – or even when she'd spun on him with a death glare in her eyes, slowly stripping down to her black tank top.

He'd stood by the side lines, bartering for the surrender of one of them without death to the other with the leader of the village but he was having none of it and, if John's spidey-senses were as in tune as he thought they were, he could have sworn the old git was enjoying the show. He could barely bring himself to watch the vicious fight and he'd almost jumped into the 'arena' and tossed Teyla over his shoulder and made for the Stargate when Hapless Female whipped a knife from somewhere in her barely-there attire. He hadn't even realised he'd tossed Teyla his own knife until he reached down to do just that.

He had barely been able to contain his yell of joy when Teyla had gotten the upper hand and pushed her opponent to the floor, knee at her back, knife at her throat. He'd almost had a heart attack when he thought Teyla wasn't going to stop and actually drag the knife across Hapless Female's neck. It wasn't even as bad a day as it was now when he'd stormed ahead of the quartet, trying to calm his erratic breathing as his anger at what Teyla had just done swamped him.

No.

His death wish didn't come in to play until they'd made it safely back to the welcoming arms of Atlantis. In fact, if he was to be accurate, it wasn't until they'd made it to the briefing room and Carter had asked what the hell had gone wrong that John felt the first inklings of a death wish. He hadn't been able to hold back the flow of his anger as he recapped the events to Carter. He hadn't been able to stop himself from retaliating hotly when Teyla had interrupted and they'd ended up in a shouting match with one another. It wasn't even as his arms flailed about his head, or when he pointed at Teyla, or even when he accused her of being a selfish idiot.

No.

It was, in fact, about two seconds after that that John Sheppard realised he'd somehow developed a death wish. It was about two seconds after chewing Teyla out in front of Carter, Ronon, Conlin, McKay and Kanan that he found out kissing Teyla was as enjoyable as it had been the first, second and third time it had happened. It was about thirty seconds after _that _that he pulled back from her and saw Kanan being held back by the unyielding arms of Ronon as Teyla stared at him with wide eyed astonishment that he realised he had a death wish.

And boy did he not care because, ridiculously, inconceivably – he wanted to do it again.

He'd only managed to raise his eyes to hers for a few seconds before he felt something connect with his jaw and he was sprawled across the floor, looking up at Kanan who'd somehow freed himself from Ronon's unfreeing arms. Before John had been able to mount any form of defence, the Athosian was gone and John was left with his team staring down at him incredulously.

He'd only answered them with an innocent "what?" before hauling himself – to which he thanked his team mates sarcastically – to his feet and making his way to the infirmary - because he was sure he heard something crack.

It was only when he was lying on a bed with an ice pack pressed against his face that he realised maybe his day wasn't so awry at all. Because, as he thought back on those thirty seconds of death wish madness, he realised something.

Teyla had kissed him back.


End file.
